I am a dreamer...and I don't want to wake up

I am a dreamer…I always have been. I don’t want typical things and I don’t want to live a typical life. I want to be extraordinary. But in the unrelenting episodes of life, I fear that I am loosing myself—a dreamer. Pessimism has swallowed my dreams whole. As unemployment rates skyrocket, my optimism for landing my dream job disintegrates. In a world where we are judged by what we do, not who we are, it becomes dreadfully troubling to be working a less that satisfactory job—or to not have a job at all. The negativity that surrounds me has clouded my vision—my vision for greatness. But I don't want to believe that I can't suceed, that my dreams are unreachable. If others have reached the same dream--why can't I. I refuse to be product of an indiviual living with their second choice.

But more vital than hard work and success is love. However indiscretions, adultery and selfishness have evaporated the feelings I used to get when I heard the word. Now I feel anger towards the way some people disgrace a sentiment so effortlessly. Some seem to treat love as a false emotion, but perhaps beneath the surface, they act the way they do because they have yet to find it. Perhaps they are envious—or perhaps they think that they are above it. If they have never experienced the feeling of love—the breath-taking, heart racing, speechless, feeling of love, they can only muddle in their ignorance. I will not let the numbness that surrounds me shadow my heart—I will love whole heartedly. I refuse to believe that heartbreak and divorce is all that comes of love. I refuse to let go of the gleam in my eyes and the rhythm of my heart when I see the man I love.

I am a dreamer…I always have been. I want it all. I want to be a writer, a dancer, a lover, and a best friend. I want to work hard so I can lay with my feet in sand staring off at the immense ocean with the man I love—and who loves me. I am a dreamer…and I don’t want to wake up.