It wasn't until i plucked a gray hair from my head that I realized I didn't have forever. I didn't have forever to enjoy my youth. I didn't have forever to get into my best shape. I didn't have forever to fall into my dream job. And I didn't have forever to write my first book. It seemed though that I have been living my life thinking that I had forever. Tomorrow I will work on my novel. Tomorrow I will work on my resume. Tomorrow I will call that friend I havn't talked to in months. But what if tomorrow never comes. Was I happy with the person I am today? Am I happy being the student, the professional, the daughter, the girlfriend, the friend that I am. The answer was no.
On the brink of my 24th birthday I came to realize that life is short and that I have been living much of my life fixated on the past. Worry consumed me for so many years. I realized that my worries were created my own road block to achieving my goals.
I'm not perfect. I never will be. I used to spend my life trying to perfect. But after several failed attempts, I found a way to be content with my imperfections. I still struggle with myself. But I know that to become the person I want to be, it is an internal and external process. My journey has just begun.
I agree. No matter how much we want to go back we can't. Got to keep moving forward. Here's a great quote from one of my favorite movies. The quote is about a father talking to his son after his son said that the father casts a shadow over him and is the cause of his failure. Father to the son:
ReplyDelete"You ain't gonna believe this, but you used to fit right here.[taps on the inside of his hand]
I'd hold you up to say to your mother, "this kid's gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid's gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew." And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watching you, every day was like a privilige. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life. Don't forget to visit your mother.